I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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