Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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