you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize