after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize