we have officially lost it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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