But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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