plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We have started to decorate penises.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
