Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
