I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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