You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
