There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
