Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
