I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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