I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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