I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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