Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
