Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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