yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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