I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
