I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
