My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
