My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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