that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
