After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
