i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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