Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
