i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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