They should really pass out barf bags in church
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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