shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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