so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
