I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I supernannyed him into submission
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