I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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