I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
