"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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