My pussy is not your playground.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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