38 yer olds are good kisserssss
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
