And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
