I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
