I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
