And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize