barbara walters just said penis...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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