; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ketchup is God's man juice
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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