And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
