Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
