He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
