Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
