shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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