I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
