so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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