It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
