Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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