She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
