Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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