so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
