I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
