You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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