Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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