she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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