I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I touched a dick in church today
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
